Phobophilia

scrabble babble

2007-01-03T16:28:00.000-08:00

I have been scrabbling (playing scrabble online) of late. It takes my mind of other, more heady issues. I like to play random people. I go by another alias. I like to win. Here are my rules:

1. Play fun words.
2. No scrabble dictionary. It contains unwords. Playing unwords defeats the entire purpose of the game.
3. Do not lowball the triple words as a defense...either play something fantastic or give it up to a better play.
4. Appreciate your opponent. When they play that amazing 100 point bingo that blows you out of the water, fess up and mean it. Give praise. It shows who you are.

MacDoodle MacBean (Part 1)

2006-09-02T17:26:00.000-07:00

Mackenzie Macdoodle Macbean
Wore a cape and mask colored green
He played hard all day
Chased the bad guys away
Kept his costume incredibly clean!

MacDoodle MacBean (Part 2)

2006-09-02T17:24:00.000-07:00

One day he was walking along
Just skipping and singing a song
When out of the blue jumped one villain, then two
And, oh!, what they did was so wrong!

MacDoodle MacBean (Part 3)

2006-09-02T17:22:00.000-07:00

The villains, you see, were pet thieves
Their shirts had gigantical sleeves
They put the pets there
But the cat and dog hair
Made them both uncontrollably sneeze

MacDoodle MacBean (Part 4)

2006-09-02T17:20:00.000-07:00

The tall one was meanest by far
On his forehead a jagged red scar
He had yellowish eyes
His teeth were like knives
And his breath smelled like turnips and tar

MacDoodle MacBean (Part 5)

2006-09-02T17:18:00.000-07:00

The small one wasn't so bad
His hat and his tie were both plaid
Though he wasn't that scary
His ears were quite hairy
And his face was remarkably sad

MacDoodle MacBean (Part 6)

2006-09-02T17:16:00.000-07:00

When they saw mackenzie they ran
Knocking over the corner fruit stand
Watermelons and pears
Launched high up in the air
Seemed to dance on some secret command

MacDoodle MacBean (Part 7)

2006-09-02T17:13:00.000-07:00

It was marvelous how they all fell
Where the thieves went the fruit went as well
The berries went "splat”
On that plaid yellow hat
And the shopkeeper started to yell

MacDoodle MacBean (Part 8)

2006-09-02T17:11:00.000-07:00

Over the sound of the fruit vendor's grumbling
From the sleeves of the thieves came a rumbling
First a rip then a tear
Then a bursting of hair
From the midst of that gigantical jumbling

MacDoodle MacBean (Part 9)

2006-09-02T16:53:00.000-07:00

The once-pilfered pets ran away
Happy at home they did stay
Mackenzie prevailed
The thieves were both jailed
and the friut vendor moved to L.A.

Even Spiders Love the Mac!

2006-08-30T07:17:00.000-07:00

Maybe it is just the warm power converter but it is always the very first thing they head towards!

By the way...we are talking about enormous wolf spiders. These fuckers aren't afraid of anything. They will run right at you!

Another fun part of living in hell.

Victory!

2006-08-30T05:58:00.000-07:00

So many happy events!

1. My 8-yr-old not only managed to find a new roll of toilet paper....he actually changed the roll!! Okay so he didn't put the old tube in the trash but hey!

2. I managed (with only the tiniest bit o' guilty feeling) to tell the M.S. student who hasn't done diddly all summer that, in fact, NO! I don't have funding for him next semester and Gee! maybe he should have shown up prior to the last day before the deadline and he would've known that!!

3. I actually asked my department chair (a.k.a. Bullwinkle) to help pay the fees for a conference in October!!

Wow!!!

Pick your battles carefully

2006-08-29T07:40:00.000-07:00

Today I finally dealt with the tragedy that struck last week. My brave little chipmunk, Captain Courageous, learned a fatal lesson in picking your battles. Apparently at some point when I wasn't home she managed to get into the house. I have envisioned various horrifying scenarios. Most include a wide measure of guilt on my part. It is probable that the point of entry was the back porch where the bird feeders are located. I routinely leave the door ajar to enjoy the breeze. Of course, that also means the cats can sit on the porch and enjoy the view of the back yard and the feeders. Well, it is not hard to connect the dots.

Chipmunk...feeder full of seed...momentary bliss...foreboding background music...point of ingress/egress for cats...tail flick...frozen, cheeks stuffed...pounce...bounce...frantic chase...blind descent...basement...boxes...cornered...heart pounding...dark looming feline shadow...deathly silence...pounce...crunch...darkness.

It has been a week. The burrow sat empty but no longer. A new resident has arrived. It is good that all those seed stores will not go to waste. For me the lesson for the coming academic year is clear: Keep your head down and pick your battles carefully. The long winter awaits and the forest is full of those who would gladly steal your nuts.

Coffee Goodness

2006-08-28T05:16:00.000-07:00

I have been alternating between two different coffee cups:

The first is the coffee bitch mug (which I love for obvious reasons)
http://www.cafepress.com/tuffkitty/993339

The second is my 70's era brown pottery mug with the broken handle. It has a pleasing shape: fat and rounded at the bottom, thinner with an ever-so-slight flare at the top. The handle had been superglued back together. I don't use the handle much except when I first pour in the hot hot goodness.

There is always a small moment when I wonder if it will hold. Will today be the day that I pour steaming hot liquid java wonder all over my pajamas? The suspense is wonderful! I love the feeling of the cracks in the pottery (where the superglue oozed out a little and dried) against my hand. I love to cup the warm smooth pottery in my palm.

It gives me some hope that...maybe...just maybe....broken things can be fixed.

Weenie Collection

2006-08-27T07:19:00.000-07:00

In fulfillment of my duty to provide continuing coverage of the Age of the Weenie...

Google Search: Weenies

Top Result: http://www.ercollection.com/home.html

Cheeky monkey was my favorite.

Prolixivity

2006-08-26T18:06:00.000-07:00

It seems I work in fartleks.
I've always been this way.
Lucubrate, pandiculate
and wile away the days.

Virago is my goal
but termagant's my best:
obstreperous, anfractuous,
a tumid, zaftig pest.

I find persiflage superfluous,
farraginous muckle sound.
My contumacious spirit
obnubilated, drowned.

I construct invious battlements
to bar propinquity
floccinaucinihilipification
I practice frequently

"What is your point?" you may inquire,
eleemosynarily.
"Manumit my heart!" I will reply,
synallagmatically.

If only I were Darth Vader

2006-08-17T08:02:00.000-07:00

Procrastinating with the Dover Book List

2006-08-17T06:47:00.000-07:00

I should be reading and writing grant proposals. Well, I am reading...the Dover Math & Science Book List. I love it...unfortunately, it is like 90% math and only 10% science....but it is still fun to read the math titles. The best part is that they reprint original works! Galileo, Bernoulli, Chandrasekhar, Oparin, Gauss. *sigh*

Proposal waits there
Needing my attention now
But I give it not

Age of the Weenie

2006-08-16T04:54:00.000-07:00

In this, the Age of the Weenie, when men who should be giants not only nurture their own petty fears but those of others, I take heart in the courage of tiny creatures. I suppose with this post I am opening my self to an argument over the difference between courage and stupidity but so be it. I think fear is stupid. I am so sick of the hysteria regarding the war on terror. As far as I'm concerned the only terror is created by our own government. But I don't feel like a political rant quite this early. I want to tell a happy stories of bravery.

So, I ws wandering through the kitchen this morning on my way to making a luscious cup of steaming biochemical stimulation when I saw a chipmunk on the back porch...her face stuffed with cat food. She looked at me. I looked at her. (I'm saying she is female because she has been smart enough to survive the summer). I could swear she winked (but this is before coffee and thus I was still partially in unconscious). Now, this particular chipmunk lives in a hole in the neighbors yard where there are remnants of an old retaining wall. She has storehouse under the neighbors porch which serves a vantage point for feline tauntings. She has also been brave enough to come into my house through the front door. I say brave here because my three cats, my next-door-neighbor's three cats and numerous other neighborhood felines and one skunk liberally mark the front door leaving no doubt that this is a fortress of felinity. Nevertheless, Ms. Chipmunk (she is single so far) waltzes in (ok....hops delicately in). She casually investigates the edges of the living room and hops on out again. I would nickname her Braveheart but I don't want to jinx him with an untimely end so I will dub her Captain Courageous instead.

My other little brave creature is a bat. I routinely leave the door to the back porch open so the cats can go there and see the world. We live on a hill so the porch is elevated and right above the chipmunk abode so the cats will often sit in a row with their toes curled over the edge and their heads poking through the railing watching him. Ah the bat. Yes. He/she comes at dusk and does a fly-by's....he has been in the house at least four times now. I now have a hanging barrier to prevent any upstairs shenanigans. The bat will fly around the kitchen and into the living room...around the living room and into the kitchen...in a nice crazy 8 pattern. The cats line up in the narrow hallway between the two rooms. The door makes a slight hazard. The bat must swoop below the jamb. As you can imagine, this is delightful for the spectators. They will jump, or more accurately, fling their bodies, at the bat. This usually last about five minutes then the bat flies back out the door. Kitties race out too and take up positions at the railing again. The bat is now dubbed Ace. I wish him/her many happy returns.

*sigh* Summer is almost over but the age of the weenie is not. Take heart brave souls. We must be steadfast in our courage and continue to promote reason over hysteria!!

I hate administration

2006-08-14T23:24:00.000-07:00

Why I love/hate living in small town hell

2006-08-14T22:17:00.000-07:00

So...I am a relatively new resident in a small town. Although I grew up in a small town, I have lived in/near big cities for nearly ten years. I cannot believe how incredibly painful the adjustment has been. I feel like a glutten suddenly forced into starvation. I'm sure it sounds peevish but here is the beginning of the love/hate list:

1. Nice nice people with no clue about basic services. Some days I swear they are sharing a brain. This may explain the affable smiles and the inexplicable social rules. Apparently, it is perfectly acceptable to help a stranger do back-breaking labor like mowing their lawn without even being asked...but customer service at a store or restaurant is a complete novelty.

2. Quaint diners with a small town feel are wonderful when you are craving fried starches after a bad day....however, the lack of variety is stultifying. I should point out that a "tostada pizza" does not count as an ethnic food. This peeve is highlighted by my own poor cooking abilities. Anyway, I love the local brewpub (especially at $3/pint!) but I miss salads that contain more than iceburg lettuce and boxed croutons. I miss espresso (especially cappuccino) in the afternoon and Thai food. Most of all, I miss outdoor seating.

3. I love the fact that I can get across town in minutes. I hate the fact that drivers here have an incapacitating fear of traffic. Four way stops are excruciating. Merging may as well be a Laplace transform.

4. I love the fact that I can afford to live downtown...but I hate the fact that everything is closed at 5 pm and on Sundays.

Sulphur Siren Welcomes You to Phobophilia!!

2006-08-12T06:56:00.000-07:00